The only important blog I will ever write

Once upon a time...

I have a story to tell. A lot of people already know it and, have already told it according to their point of view. Each one of them based on separate opinions. Some make sense... and some, not so much. But all of them I have tried my best to listen to. Now it's my turn. I'll tell it how I want, based on my point of view, my opinion, my experience. And many wont agree. Then again I wasn't particularly looking for what others think, just getting out my own version.

I like this boy. Not creepy obsessed or anything, I simply like a kid. Everybody sort of hinted he liked my friend, so I asked, and he said he didn't. But in the course of it all I also told him I liked him. No big revelation there. Yet hey he said he liked me, at least a little. Good deal. Once again not earth shattering, but anyone will agree it's nice to know someone likes you. We figured we could hang out, get to know each other, yada yada. Nothing big.

And that was the end of it I thought. I didn't expect anything huge to come out of it. Heck I didn't even plan on telling him. I never do things like that. Ever. But hey he's a nice guy, so why not? It's not like even if I did fall for him he would "break my heart" or something like that. I guess if I was that guy from Along Came Polly I would be good to go.

Then it all got messed up. I always kind of thought he still liked my friend. People like him, don't like people like me. Not saying I'm a bad person or anything. Far from. I'm simply not the type. Well I got a text from this kid I never talk to. And he straight up told me, this guy I like doesn't like me at all. Geeze. No preamble, no nothing. He threw the words at me, and to admit the worst, it hurt. I suppose I always knew. But here I talked myself into believing the maybe's. Maybe I'm worth it? Maybe he will be an alright guy? Maybe I'm not stupid for telling him? Maybe maybe maybe...

That was a bad night to put it simply. But my friend (who just happens to be the same friend he "liked") made it all better. Go out to lunch the next day, talk it all out. Everything seemed like it would smooth out. Like there was hardly a bump to begin with. That night I had a random dream about my dog running away... ha

Well lunch didn't exactly smooth it out like I thought it would. She retold me what I already knew. He didn't like me. At all. No surprises. But that's when I look back at it like wow, I look like an idiot. Not because a whole bunch of people knew or something, just a personal thing. Kind of like when you talk yourself into buying a cheap toy, with the nagging feeling that it will break as soon as you get home. And it breaks. Well my toy broke.

After lunch we went back to her place to watch movies, and hang out for a while. I found out a lot while I was there. I don't remember what order it was in but, I'll take a guess. First his friends didn't approve. I'm not sure what they disapproved of but, it didn't matter much. From what I understood someone took him aside, chewed him out, told him he can't have a girlfriend (?) and lone behold he changed his mind on a dime. I wouldn't say I was hurt at all. More like a little confused. Ok maybe a lot confused. Then I was so kindly reminded by a third person he doesn't like me. Ugh... It kind of felt like everybody was ganging up on me. I know it wasn't true, but it still felt like it. I knew every single one of them was right, and it was so unanimous there wasn't even room for hope.

In case anyone wanted to know I did ask him about it. I was a little upset. I mean he goes ahead and reassures me he likes me not my friend, then tells everyone else he said that so he wouldn't hurt my feelings. Uh huh... What exactly do you say about something like that? I figured he had good intentions, so I can't hold it against him. (Even though this time I'll admit I was a little bit hurt) I tried to be nice about it, although I'm a pretty sure a couple times I could have been a little more polite about it. One of my favorite quotes says "Sometimes I have every right to be angry, but that doesn't give me any right to be rude".

After a little bit of talking around with my friend, I realized I am the last person to figure out all of this. Some said he still likes me, and it's only his friends who made him change his mind. Someone else said he hated me (which I thought was a little extreme, but you never know...). And all the happy middle ground people with all their twists and turns on it.

The worst part is people started taking sides. Some people really were upset with him. All sorts of bad names started flying around, and I was trying to keep it at bay, because probably don't know the entire story (and never will unless he tells me). But on the other half I had people upset with me. They told me he turned me down and I should move on. Whoa... slow down. I could really care less. Yea I liked the kid, and after all this I am a little frustrated, but I'm not turning into creepy stalker ex, so stop treating me like one. It's like my own WW III was about to break out.

In the beginning I said I had a story to tell and my own opinion. I did a lot of story telling. Not a lot of opinion. I think I am an idiot for pursuing the subject at all. If he didn't want to tell me that's fine. I have great friends who will set me straight if he isn't a big enough person to do it himself, which I'm sure isn't the case. Second, I think the first person who told me is kind of a jerk. Nobody is quite sure how he randomly knew, or how he figured he had the right to tell me, but whatever. If starting drama is how he gets his kicks then I am glad I could be helpful. Third, he's not a bad guy. And if his friends really don't want him to have a girlfriend (and he's willing to go with what they want) then fine. I'm not going to cry over it like a stupid girl. I was told he's shallow. Maybe it's true... But I don't think so. He tried to do the right thing in the situation he was in. It turned out to be a big mistake, but no big deal. Mistakes happen. Last... taking sides is stupid. It's not my friends vs. his friends. There's not going to be a big show down or anything. It's not whether he's is right or I am.

It sucks. I'm not going to deny any part of that. But I kind of knew it from the beginning. Liking someone out of my league (and no matter what anyone says it is true) is stupid. Justa askin fer trouble. But hey maybe I'm smarter now? Maybe next time I won't open my big mouth and tell them I like them. Ha somethings are meant to be kept a secret.

Yea I still like him. But I'm not sure if it is really worth it. Everything was blown way out of proportion and I kind of feel like I didn't have a choice in the matter. No big deal. Stuff happens for a reason right?

...The End

Hey Stephen?

I have this friend. She is absolutely adorable. I can't stop laughing when I talk to her. And a few days ago she asks me to listen to this song. I figured why not, but for various reasons I couldn't. Yet she wouldn't let it go. She insisted I listened to this song. Well a few minutes ago I got around to it. "Hey stephen I can't help it if you look like an angel". Oh man. I couldn't stop laughing. And I am pretty sure many of my friends know why. There is this boy, only his name is spelt differently. Anyway it completely made my day. I mean what are the odds? You are never going to catch me saying anything like that. Ever. But it still makes me smile. Ha way to go Taylor Swift.

Big Decision

I get so used to my everyday routines. It changes a little bit, and every once in a great while something happens, but all in all it's pretty monotonous. And I don't mind it. I'm not one to go for big emotional drama all the time. I like to know what's going to happen ahead of time, and how it's going to happen. No variances.

Yet now everything could change. I'm probably one of the few people who consider something like this a big decision, but I really do. It can change so many things. My little life with most definitely vary. As nice as that may sound it also sounds a little scary. I would find myself in situations I've never been in before. And then what? It's like running into a storm blindfolded. Stupid, or exciting. Probably both.

So the big decision. What to do what to do. My friends say do exactly what your heart tells you to do. Generic I know, and my heart has been known to be stupid. But using my head is so incredibly boring. "Do the safe thing, do the safe thing." I swear that's what it chants everytime I have to make a semi important decision. So I'm pretty sure I'll just do what my heart says after I give my head's choice a shot. Hey it could work out right? I'm honestly not sure... but we will see.

Ima Speecher

"Speech is the one thing most people are afraid of, and THAT is the reason I'm in it"

I am an idiot. I stand in front of people, acting out multiple characters myself, making myself cry, talking to imaginary people, all so somebody can hand me a piece of paper telling me everything I did wrong. And I love it.

This year my material has a lot of potential, and getting it all ready for our first meet is the greatest feeling ever. I want to do my very best. Who wouldn't? But at this point I have made no progress on it at all for almost a week. I know I need to basically rewrite the entire thing, but it's a lot harder to do that than it sounds. After sitting in front of the computer for 2 and a half hours I still have made no head way. So maybe my wish of being ready for this next meet wont come true. Maybe everything is just going to fall apart, and unless I get a little help that might happen.

Trying to Stay Positive

This past week was really difficult for me, for multiple reasons. And the weekend didn't get much better. I figured, "wow this next week is going to be horrible already". That is exactly what I thought. Why bother trying to make the week great if you already know it's going to be another disaster? I'm not going to waste my energy on such a fruitless task.

But I'm wrong. Very very wrong. Just because I found myself in this big mess doesn't mean I can sit around and wait for it to get better. I have to get up and make changes myself. Otherwise who knows how many bad weeks I will go through before things get better.

The whole thing that reopened my eyes to all of this was a book. Be the Change. Appropriate title right? Anyway it honestly doesn't exactly address my issue. But you can apply almost anything to your own life. So that's what I did. It was talking about these people that hardly have anything, and are doing their best to live their life to the fullest. And what about me? I have all these things, but I'm sitting her sulking about because I disappointed a few people? That is ridiculous. If I care so much about what people think I am not making a good impression behaving like this.

Things will get better. The only question is whether I will have the gumption to make it better.

Expectations.

I have been trying to write about this all week, but I couldn't. Now I can.

There's a lot of pressure on me. Not just in school, sports, and speech. But friends, teachers, my sisters, my parents. I'm not saying nobody else has pressure, but lately I have been feeling mine a lot more. And usually I deal with it perfectly. Ok maybe not perfectly, but pretty close.

Yet now I find myself in this position where I am continually letting people down. Falling short of expectations. Not living up to the standards. However you want to word it, that's what I'm doing. I don't know what to do. Every time I turn around someone is looking at me like, "wow and she couldn't even do that. I thought she would at the very least be capable of that." And looks are so important. They can tell you almost exactly what somebody is thinking, so when you never see a good one you know you are doing something wrong. What I'm doing wrong I'm not sure about.

So it's like being stuck in a hole. The more I try to get out, the more mistakes I make, which get me into a deeper hole. I don't know. I just really don't know. Sometimes it's nice to hear someone say you can do it, or I believe in you. It's been a while, but then again I think I can get out of it without help.

impossible perfection

maturity- the state of full development; perfected condition [syn. adulthood]

Everybody out there has had the M word used on them. They have been called immature, or told they are very mature for their age. I would like to know exactly what they mean by that. Because from the definition above, it seems like nobody is mature. Perfected condition? Are you kidding me? And if adulthood is a perfected condition maturity is pretty messed up.

I know that's not the definition that really applies to us. It's more like acting like an adult. Knowing when it's ok to laugh and when it's not. Not being too excessive anyway we act, and making good decisions. Or to summarize that all up, being really good at controlling our emotions. Gee I wish I was mature. That sounds like a blast. I mean really think about it. When somebody tells you to be mature they have this ideal picture they want you to fit into, the "mature adult" figure. Or if you're told you're mature you are probably fitting into that mold decently well.

The whole thing that got me thinking about this was I saw someone start crying, and then someone else yell at them for not being mature. Obviously that's not the entire story but, take my word for it, she is one of the most compossed people I have ever met. Seeing her cry was a little shocking. But as soon as she stepped out of that mold and let loose a bit her dad was there to correct her and, tell her that's unexceptable. Really? When did crying become immature? Because it's not perfect like our definition says? Well heck if that's the way it is I don't think anybody is mature.

I'm not saying we all need to run around like idiots. This unspoken rule of conduct certainly has it's advantages when it comes keeping society in line. But sometimes there is too much pressure put on this single angle of life. Growing up is hard enough without having to live up to adults expectations, of "maturing" at a certain rate. You're either ahead or behind the pack. I don't think I have ever once been with it. So let loose, scream for no reason (not at someone obviously), sing a silly song and dance around. Afterwards you can go back to trying to achieve this impossible perfection.

A breath of fresh air. Or maybe more than one.

We all know the pressures of being in high school. Grades, friends, extra curricular actives. Yada Yada Yada. It gets to be a lot. Sometimes my day starts at 4 in the morning and doesn't end until 11 at night. Obviously sleep is not making it very high up on my priority list (so hey if I seem a little snappy cut me some slack that's probably why).

Anyway I am having some difficulty balancing out my schedule and still finding the all essential time alone. You know when you can sink into a couch watch a few minutes of TV, write, read, email a friend back. Something that benefits only you. So where did this time go? Dance practice certainly takes up a lot of it, but it's worth it. The rest of it is being poured into projects for school, writing my speech for speech team, and preparing a piano piece for my Christmas festival at church. Each one of them are worthy causes I know.

So do I cut back on what I'm doing or is it all in my time management? (probably both)

I know everybody lately is feeling the crunch. It's tough. And I know me complaining about it won't fix anything, but oh well. At the very least it gets my thoughts out there, and my blog post can join the millions of others teens are writing about being so busy and stressed.

A faint glimmer,
the remains of,
a once brilliant beacon.
Quiet mummers,
are the last,
of the blaring call,
relentlessly seeking me out.
Slight tugs
now pull at me,
in place of the force,
that is no longer.
Fading from my memories,
a previously strong figure,
now a shadow.
Soon forgotten.
Gone forever.

I'm not asking anyone to comment on it. If someone likes it they are more than welcome to say so. If you don't I would love to hear that too. You don't have to understand it.

Generic vs. Unique

Yes sir that is my problem, which I think many of us are running into. Those of us who are taking this assignment seriously want our blog to stand out. We want people to read it, and like (and dare I say enjoy) what we write. So in order to achieve that we have to write something that stands out. A new idea or something close to it. Crazy titles are being spit out left and right. People spend and hour to simply figure out what to say, or how to say it. And that would all be great if there wasn't the "but".

The "but" is the deadline. Two blogs per week. At the beginning this seemed simple. I had idea's left and right. I enjoyed writing. Two blogs a week? What a piece of pie (yes pie). And then it happened. I hit the wall that everybody else seems to have smacked their head on. Which is where I run into the big question. Do I try to be unique still, even though my ideas will probably be a lot less than fantastic or not have anything to blog about at all? OR should I blog about the same generic things so that I can get them all done.

I would love to be unique. In a perfect world (like Walgreen's) I would still be blogging like a mad man. My idea's would still seem good to me at the very least. But that's not the way it is. I have nothing new to say. I can't sit up all night striving for some semi brilliant idea to pop into my head. I don't have that kind of time.

So all of that, I am sad to say, leads me to the generic route. The unimaginative route. The route where everybody blogs about the elections, being stressed, and extreme home makeover. I think it's a waste of time to write about second hand ideas. Nobody wants to read it, and I don't want to think about it. Yet what choice do I have? I want to keep up the fairly decent quality (I think I have) in my blog. Quality takes a lot of imagination, and at this point I don't think I have it. I'm far from giving up. Giving up isn't my point at all. Because second hand idea's still are not my style, but I might have to settle for something boring occasionally. Idea's are very welcome, if you havn't written about them. But personally I would just write about it myself instead of give it someone else ;)

I've sat in front of this computer too long

Nothing to write about. Two and a half hours, yet I still have nothing to write about. Ridiculous I know. I mean I try to write about things that are important (at least to me), so it shouldn't be too hard. But tonight, nothing. I could be like everybody else and write about the new president or something, but I sort of think that's dumb. My opinion is one of a million, and certainly not worth anything. Which sort of bothers me. Why shouldn't my opinion matter? I'm more informed than many Americans out there. I've listened to teachers, students, my parents, countless political ads, and on top of that I did my own research. Some people voted for Obama just because of his skin color (which should not be a factor). People were asked if they would be ok with Sarah Palin being vice president when Obama is voted in (obviously not true but they wanted to see how much the people knew) and they said they would be fine with it! They thought Sarah Palin was Obama's VP. What idiots! I think Obama will be an excellent president, but some people... ugh...
enough said.

Birthday Blues

November 11th. Yep that's the dreadful day. I know I must sound crazy, but I really don't want my birthday to come this year. Even my parents think I'm nuts. They keep asking me what I want, and I keep telling them nothing. So for whatever reason they keep asking. As if I'm going to change my answer or something.

Anyway, the reason I don't want my birthday to come is simple. It's overrated. Everybody is making turning 16 into a big deal. I've never really celebrated my birthday, so what's the difference now. What's the point? Usually it's celebrating freedom, because that's when you get your licence, but I'm not getting mine for 3 months. When I turned 15 I told them I didn't want anything. They said fine. It didn't matter. So what's different this time? Money is the difference for me. I can't ask my parents for something when money is so tight. Birthday or not, more "stuff" isn't necessary. I don't need it.

I suppose I'm not being honest when I say I didn't want anything this year. I wanted to see this guy again. And he promised too. Then again he promised me a lot. So my birthday will just be a reminder of what was. I don't want to go through that... who would?

Anyway the closer it gets the more I wish I was done with it already. Normally people start counting down, excitement building with each passing day. And that's fine. It's not me though. Don't avoid saying happy birthday because your afraid I'll attack you or something. I won't =]

For My Friend

"Once you hit the bottom the only way left to go is up"

It's great, hopeful advice. I will admit that much. Yet if you think about it, this "hopeful" phrase can be completely twisted around into something else. The only time your going to go up is when you hit the bottom.

I know a few people who get stuck in a bad mood, and let it get out of control. Their life can fall apart and they are so caught up in themselves they don't even notice. Not until it smacks them in the face. Bam

So why let it get that far? Why not work on changing it before it gets that bad? Maybe it's a habit or something, but even that is a bad reason. Waiting for things to hit bottom, no matter how shallow that is, doesn't fix anything. It makes you work harder to get out. It makes you stressed. Nothing good.

Taking control of the situation from the begining is the first thing. And, the last. Simple as that. Then it lets your gorgeous smile sneak out there a little more =]

If you do this one thing for me...

I wanted to go to my friends house tonight. No big deal. My mom even said it would be alright if I did this one thing for her. Clean my room. Once again no big deal. Then as soon as I finished that she wanted me to clean the kitchen. Ok, I was a little annoyed, but that's fine I'll do it. I cleaned the kitchen only to turn around and have her tell me to clean out my closet. It was becoming ridiculous, and with each chore I finished she came up with a new one. However, I really wanted to get out of the house, so I grit my teeth and did it anyway.

It was getting late so I figured I should ask her now or I would never be able to go. And she said no! After all that she said no. With out complaint I did her bidding and I get nothing in return. Now I'm not just an angry teen lashing out, this really is ridiculous. She even had me figure out all the plans for how I would get there, the times, who all is going, having me invite someone else. All of that, yet she says no. Bogus... that's what it is...

I say this because I love you

"I say this because I love you." -Just about every parent out there.

I absolutely enjoy getting cornered by my mom, yelled at for a long time, then being forced to hug her. Quickly to follow is the line so many teens have heard. "I say this because I love you". That would be the point where I smile, nod, say I love you too, then I walk in my room so I can yell in my pillow about how stupid she is. She isn't stupid of course, but sometimes it's really frustrating. Especially since this is the only time she ever says it.

Now don't think I still call her mommy and pick her dasies, because thats the way it's coming off, however; if that's the best way she can show me how much she cares for me, there is a problem.

The best part about all of this is that while she was telling me all of these things that "I need to do better on", she never once asked why I might be acting differently. If anything was bothering me. After all she's doing this because she loves me right? So asking someone you love if everything is ok, is part of the script right? Particularly when they have been having a hard time in the past week. I don't know. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I guess the only thing to do is take her word for it, she loves me, and take her advice so I can do better in life instead of being so selfcentered. Still they need to find a new line...

The Impersonal Personal

Have you ever had a problem with someone and knew it needed to be fixed? Generally the best way to solve it is to call them up, or better yet meet up with them somewhere. So much can be solved and instead of just getting over the bump bonding actually happens.

Right now in my life this is not so. I had this friend and for many reasons we grew apart (far far apart). I figured it was for the better and kinda moved on accepting the facts, but she still wanted to work it out. I understood. However, her way of fixing it was texting me nonstop. We were at a football game and I was having the best time ever until I look at my phone and read, "Why do you hate me? can't we just be friends? tell me whats wrong with me. We need to work this out." As many can assume that kind of killed the night. Why would anybody want to spend their Friday night dueling it out with someone. And that's basically what I told her. In the end I went home early just to get away from it all.

Things like this continued to happen. Emails, texts, little messages on facebook. It even went as far that she befriended my sister and started talking about me. She said, "It has to be because of her not me, because I haven't changed a bit." Lets say I wanted to scream. Why can't she tell me all this to my face?? Who knows.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is all of this could have been avoided. She could have called me at an appropriate time or asked to meet up at somewhere. Like a restaurant, or a park. Not a football game. Instead she had to keep it at a distance. She never once said a word to me about it. Not once.

When it comes to personal things like this, I know I would feel uncomfortable trying to convey what I mean through a text when it could be interpreted so many different ways, more often than not, making it all worse. Cellphones don't give hugs. Computers don't tell you it will all be okay. But friends and family can. Lets get this impersonal cycle a little more friendliness to it.

And by the way. We never worked it out. She wanted to talk it out about 5 minutes before church started and it didn't go so well. Later I received a message on facebook. Maybe things will never change.

the Homework Gal

I just love how I could like a guy and the only reason they might talk to me is because of homework. That's it. They want help on their homework. Really? Can I be of no other use than (hopefully) correct answers? Let me vent about this because it's driving me nuts.

I'm sure somebody is thinking I should be lucky they talk to me at all. OR that I'm just another silly girl. But hey you know what, I am a silly girl. I talk about shoes, I worry about what I look like in the morning, my goodness one time I even got upset over breaking a nail. Not even kidding (how pathetic). Yet the thing I'm trying to get at is, so has every other girl. Maybe not exactly but we all know what I mean. What makes me different that I turned into the homework girl? Don't even think that I'm smart, because there are lots of people smarter than I am. I am no special case. What walls have I put up around myself that make me inapproachable. I can't be the only one who has ever felt this way. It's frustrating being limited in my character to a single role (we are no longer talking about just guys, I'm getting at being dubbed the smart one) in life.

I want to break out of this. Really bad. I don't mean this now as it pops into my head while writing. I mean this as something I have given thought to continuously. This year I'm going to try to step out and open up. Yes "open up" is generic, but it's exactly what I want to do. And hey if it lets me talk to that cute guy in class, about something other than homework, well that's quite a bonus =]

Sh... Pass It On

Recently at my school little clothes pins have been passed around. I will open up by bag before class and find one stuck to the strap. On one said it says, "Sh... Pass It On" and on the other is a cute little pharse, bible verse, or joke. This one said You are loved. I instantly smiled decided this could easily make someones day.

This simple idea is wonderful. So many people now are finding them everywhere. It's a nice suprise in the middle of a boring day. Stay on the look out for these clothes pins and Pass them on. =]

Have you ever tried something new and only had someone tell you how horrible you are the entire time? It's like hold up why on earth should I do this if it makes me miserable?? Right now that's the situation I'm in.

It's my first year on the dance team and I know that I have a lot to improve on. I work really hard and try to apply corrections as we go. Yet I am finding that each day I enjoy it less and less. I know a few girls who feel the same way. We walk into the gym knowing we are inadequate. Yet this issue can easily be bypassed so we can move on with the routine, better than ever.

Constructive critisism is the main point I'm trying to get at. Ugh I wish I had something better to call it considering that is such a generic term, but it's the best I have. I'm not pointing fingers at our captains at all since making corrections is a group effort, but they are the leaders. Telling some one they did great and can do even better if they improve ___. is great. Instead we are often hearing people saying your leading with your knee and all the kicks were wrong. Is that helpful? Not particularly. Who knows maybe that is the way to go for some girls. Tough love gets it done and I just need to suck it up. But I'm not the only one so perhaps I have a point...

Vroom Vroom Here I Come... not

I really dislike driving. Not just sort of but A LOT. Generally I end up going with my mom. My stepdad isn't around much so I settle for what's available. She's the kind of person who will stress out and start yelling 2 minutes into the whole ordeal. I don't think she has ever said one constructive comment that will actually help me rather than make me freak out more. Is learning to drive really worth listening to my mom yell and grab the dashboard (going 15 mph ugh). There is noway I'm going to get my license at this rate. The only thing I can do is take my own advice and stay positive... A little help here =,(

Oh Crystal Ball Tell Me What You See

"As I look forward, I'm very optimistic about the things I see ahead" - Bill Gates

Granted Bill Gates does have every reason to be optimistic about a lot of things. If things go wrong he can just throw money at it to fix it, but for the rest of us, everyday people, this quote can be more difficult to apply to our lives than some think.

I remember when I went to my first speech meet. Oh my goodness, I was so scared. I was waiting for my turn with full knowledge that I was the only one in the room who was in their first year. Right away I told myself I was going to do really badly. Surprise surprise I did horrible. I dropped my papers, I lost my spot, and I didn't even finish because I was so embarrassed.

There is no way I could have done well when I'm picturing myself fail, but I'm not the only one. I know lots of people that short change themselves because they don't think they can do it. My favorite piece of advice is shoot for the stars. You never know when you might hit them, but you never will if you don't try. Know what your capable of and then go even farther. But, if your not going to try then what's the point. Look at the future and be OPTIMISTIC about it.

My Little Light of Hope

"If you're going through hell, keep going" -Winston Churchill

I remember laying in bed every night for weeks and naming every single thing that was wrong with me. I couldn't understand how my life could get so messed up so quickly, so I blamed myself. My sister would sit with me and try to comfort me, but the one thing she said that stuck out to me is, "it won't last forever".

Out of all of Winston Churchill's quotes this one is my favorite. However dark the current tunnel your walking through is, there is always a light at the end of it. There is always that hope that when it's all over things will be better, happier. No matter how hard it gets remember to keep going, and let your friends help you. That's what they're there for =]

we all know this person and nobody likes them

"positive things happen to positive people" -Sarah Beeny

You just have to love the person who walks down the hallway complaining about everything from a challenging homework assignment, to his teachers haircut. I don't know how somebody could fill so much of their spare time just thinking of everything wrong with the world but they pull it off. It puts such a downer on everybody else's attitude. Like if i just got a new car I'm not going to want to listen about how the corner of their math book is bent. Yes, it make really be a bummer, but it honestly doesn't matter unless they're trying to make small talk.

While I can go on and criticize them all I want I'll be the first to admit that I have stepped into this role on occasion, and so has everybody else. When I have that really stressful day I just want to vent to everybody around me; however, the trick is to stretch yourself (by getting over it) and stay positive. Things will look up, and tomorrow nobody will remeber what was so bad in the first place. Why waste time on it now when forgetting about it will make everybody's life so much better? =]

A Stranger's Gift

This past week has been really hard for me. There were times when I was worried if my life would just fall apart at the seams. But through it all I found out the simplest thing.

Everyday in the hallway I passed this girl, she was a freshman and I had no idea who she was. Quite frankly I didn't care either. But each time she passed me she would smile wave and say hi. I don't know why she smiled at me, and I certainly wasn't all that pleasant looking, but she did. I realized that smile made my day and still does. The fact that someone can be so nice toward me when I am having such a hard time is amazing. A simple smile can make all the difference. Don't hold back, show off your pearly whites. You never know who might need it.

Just Shove a Sock in Your Face

Ah yes, See You At the Pole...

Every year I take part in this event where kids from my school gather around a flag pole and pray. Generally it's just a peaceful morning where nothing particularly exciting happens, but this year was different.

It was near the end because school was going to start soon, and also when the most students were passing by. Even though some may not agree with what we do they keep their comments to themselves. Yet this year they felt it necessary to make shrew remarks as they walk past us. I felt it was very immature and demeaning. We are not forcing anybody to join us, or doing some crazy voodoo crap. We are simply praying. If you don't agree fine, but please save the remarks for a more appropriate time.

Extremely Overrated Home Makeover

I live in a little town. Nothing really happens here, and what does is insignificant. But for the first time ever our little town is getting some action. Extreme Home make over is coming here to do what they do best. Exciting? possibly. I think it's really good news that someone is going to pretty much get a whole new life, but everyone needs to kinda chill. Yes it's sad you can't help if your under 18, and it's sad we can't get autographs, but do we need to repeat ourselves over and over. It fly buzzing in my ear annoying. Let's just go with the flow and enjoy it while it's here, but not exhaust the subject before they have even started working.

Obvious Advice for an Obvious Mistake

nobody wants to read about another good relationship gone bad. First of all they are boring and all sound the same. But just for the heads up, long relationships don't work. In fact I think they are incredibly pointless. I don't care who you are or how far you are willing to drive, if you can't see them a lot they will get bored. Just for the warning.

Mesmerizing boys... ah yes not my role in life

Tonight I had to work the concessions stand to raise money for the dance team. Definitely a worthy cause considering we need new uniforms, but I'm not so good with numbers. With 4 or 5 people throwing money at me at once I'm pretty positive I short changed a few people. Now working with me was this gorgeous girl. I know coming from another female that may sounds a little goofy, but she could have made Helen of Troy look unsightly. She was really nice and we had fun working together but soon I realized that when the teenage boys would hand me the money and mumble it was because they couldn't keep their eyes off her. I know I know boys will be boys, but come on they go to school with her, and should be able to keep themselves together long enough to tell me they want a hot dog and Dr. Pepper. I honestly had to ask one of the guys to repeat himself four times. Ugh.. come on boys, lets have some more class.

Pass the Grapes!

Supper time in my house can sometimes be a circus. There are 7 of us total, and my stepdad, David, is the only guy. My mom made the best hotdish ever tonight by combining what she had available in the kitchen. I must admit I was a little hesitant to eat it, but that's beside the point. When it's time to eat it's like sitting down at king Arthur's table. It is huge. There is as much variety on the table as there is sitting around the table.

In order to keep the meal organized and civilized we take what we want and pass it to the left. It always goes this way, but tonight Lindsey Marie had a different plan. She didn't want the grapes next to her, which put a hault to the entire system. I asked her to pass them but she turns to me and loudly says no. Instead they cut a new path across the table, surpassing David, Mom, and Lindsey Lu. To say the least I was frusterated with her.

I have issues with my food touching, so when my pickle juice ran across my plate right where I was going to put my hotdish I had to fix it. Instead of just getting a clean plate I decide if fold up my napkin big enough the pickle juice will pool up on the other edge of my plate. David notices and is quick to call me out on it. Suddenly the table erupts in laughter and causes my face to turn bright red. I don't think I will ever live it down. But yet again with my family the boring and plain moments are very far and few inbetween.