Expectations.

I have been trying to write about this all week, but I couldn't. Now I can.

There's a lot of pressure on me. Not just in school, sports, and speech. But friends, teachers, my sisters, my parents. I'm not saying nobody else has pressure, but lately I have been feeling mine a lot more. And usually I deal with it perfectly. Ok maybe not perfectly, but pretty close.

Yet now I find myself in this position where I am continually letting people down. Falling short of expectations. Not living up to the standards. However you want to word it, that's what I'm doing. I don't know what to do. Every time I turn around someone is looking at me like, "wow and she couldn't even do that. I thought she would at the very least be capable of that." And looks are so important. They can tell you almost exactly what somebody is thinking, so when you never see a good one you know you are doing something wrong. What I'm doing wrong I'm not sure about.

So it's like being stuck in a hole. The more I try to get out, the more mistakes I make, which get me into a deeper hole. I don't know. I just really don't know. Sometimes it's nice to hear someone say you can do it, or I believe in you. It's been a while, but then again I think I can get out of it without help.