The only important blog I will ever write

Once upon a time...

I have a story to tell. A lot of people already know it and, have already told it according to their point of view. Each one of them based on separate opinions. Some make sense... and some, not so much. But all of them I have tried my best to listen to. Now it's my turn. I'll tell it how I want, based on my point of view, my opinion, my experience. And many wont agree. Then again I wasn't particularly looking for what others think, just getting out my own version.

I like this boy. Not creepy obsessed or anything, I simply like a kid. Everybody sort of hinted he liked my friend, so I asked, and he said he didn't. But in the course of it all I also told him I liked him. No big revelation there. Yet hey he said he liked me, at least a little. Good deal. Once again not earth shattering, but anyone will agree it's nice to know someone likes you. We figured we could hang out, get to know each other, yada yada. Nothing big.

And that was the end of it I thought. I didn't expect anything huge to come out of it. Heck I didn't even plan on telling him. I never do things like that. Ever. But hey he's a nice guy, so why not? It's not like even if I did fall for him he would "break my heart" or something like that. I guess if I was that guy from Along Came Polly I would be good to go.

Then it all got messed up. I always kind of thought he still liked my friend. People like him, don't like people like me. Not saying I'm a bad person or anything. Far from. I'm simply not the type. Well I got a text from this kid I never talk to. And he straight up told me, this guy I like doesn't like me at all. Geeze. No preamble, no nothing. He threw the words at me, and to admit the worst, it hurt. I suppose I always knew. But here I talked myself into believing the maybe's. Maybe I'm worth it? Maybe he will be an alright guy? Maybe I'm not stupid for telling him? Maybe maybe maybe...

That was a bad night to put it simply. But my friend (who just happens to be the same friend he "liked") made it all better. Go out to lunch the next day, talk it all out. Everything seemed like it would smooth out. Like there was hardly a bump to begin with. That night I had a random dream about my dog running away... ha

Well lunch didn't exactly smooth it out like I thought it would. She retold me what I already knew. He didn't like me. At all. No surprises. But that's when I look back at it like wow, I look like an idiot. Not because a whole bunch of people knew or something, just a personal thing. Kind of like when you talk yourself into buying a cheap toy, with the nagging feeling that it will break as soon as you get home. And it breaks. Well my toy broke.

After lunch we went back to her place to watch movies, and hang out for a while. I found out a lot while I was there. I don't remember what order it was in but, I'll take a guess. First his friends didn't approve. I'm not sure what they disapproved of but, it didn't matter much. From what I understood someone took him aside, chewed him out, told him he can't have a girlfriend (?) and lone behold he changed his mind on a dime. I wouldn't say I was hurt at all. More like a little confused. Ok maybe a lot confused. Then I was so kindly reminded by a third person he doesn't like me. Ugh... It kind of felt like everybody was ganging up on me. I know it wasn't true, but it still felt like it. I knew every single one of them was right, and it was so unanimous there wasn't even room for hope.

In case anyone wanted to know I did ask him about it. I was a little upset. I mean he goes ahead and reassures me he likes me not my friend, then tells everyone else he said that so he wouldn't hurt my feelings. Uh huh... What exactly do you say about something like that? I figured he had good intentions, so I can't hold it against him. (Even though this time I'll admit I was a little bit hurt) I tried to be nice about it, although I'm a pretty sure a couple times I could have been a little more polite about it. One of my favorite quotes says "Sometimes I have every right to be angry, but that doesn't give me any right to be rude".

After a little bit of talking around with my friend, I realized I am the last person to figure out all of this. Some said he still likes me, and it's only his friends who made him change his mind. Someone else said he hated me (which I thought was a little extreme, but you never know...). And all the happy middle ground people with all their twists and turns on it.

The worst part is people started taking sides. Some people really were upset with him. All sorts of bad names started flying around, and I was trying to keep it at bay, because probably don't know the entire story (and never will unless he tells me). But on the other half I had people upset with me. They told me he turned me down and I should move on. Whoa... slow down. I could really care less. Yea I liked the kid, and after all this I am a little frustrated, but I'm not turning into creepy stalker ex, so stop treating me like one. It's like my own WW III was about to break out.

In the beginning I said I had a story to tell and my own opinion. I did a lot of story telling. Not a lot of opinion. I think I am an idiot for pursuing the subject at all. If he didn't want to tell me that's fine. I have great friends who will set me straight if he isn't a big enough person to do it himself, which I'm sure isn't the case. Second, I think the first person who told me is kind of a jerk. Nobody is quite sure how he randomly knew, or how he figured he had the right to tell me, but whatever. If starting drama is how he gets his kicks then I am glad I could be helpful. Third, he's not a bad guy. And if his friends really don't want him to have a girlfriend (and he's willing to go with what they want) then fine. I'm not going to cry over it like a stupid girl. I was told he's shallow. Maybe it's true... But I don't think so. He tried to do the right thing in the situation he was in. It turned out to be a big mistake, but no big deal. Mistakes happen. Last... taking sides is stupid. It's not my friends vs. his friends. There's not going to be a big show down or anything. It's not whether he's is right or I am.

It sucks. I'm not going to deny any part of that. But I kind of knew it from the beginning. Liking someone out of my league (and no matter what anyone says it is true) is stupid. Justa askin fer trouble. But hey maybe I'm smarter now? Maybe next time I won't open my big mouth and tell them I like them. Ha somethings are meant to be kept a secret.

Yea I still like him. But I'm not sure if it is really worth it. Everything was blown way out of proportion and I kind of feel like I didn't have a choice in the matter. No big deal. Stuff happens for a reason right?

...The End